A Tribute to Aunt Mary Ann Delaino

 

Tribute to Aunt Mary Ann

 

Mary Ann Moore Delaino

Nov. 11, 1917 – Aug. 2, 2012

 

How sad that some people live nondescript, unremarkable lives.  When their days on earth are over, there’s not a lot that can be said about such people.    At the memorial service held on August 8, 2012, at the Cedar Key United Methodist Church to celebrate the life of Mary Ann Moore Delaino, the words that flowed from the mouths of friends and family were anything but nondescript.  As a tribute to my very special aunt, I’d like to revisit some of those words that rang out today, as well as add a few of my own.

When one walked into Aunt Mary Ann’s presence, the first thing you noticed was her smile.  She was always glad to see you, and had a way of making you feel so special. I’ve thought for many years that I was her favorite niece, but I have a feeling that all her nieces probably think that!

She was the epitome of the refined, gracious Southern lady.  Her manners were impeccable.  Emily Post would have approved.

The small fishing village of Cedar Key may have been her home, but she was as sophisticated as a high-society New Yorker.  What other woman in Cedar Key used a cigarette holder for her Lucky Strikes?  Audrey Hepburn had nothing on Mary Ann Delaino!

Knowing of Aunt Mary’s knowledge and command of the English language, one was hesitant to say too much in her company.  In the classroom, at home, or on the street, murder the King’s English, and she would correct you.  She was forever correcting my use of double negatives.  And “ain’t” was a word she did not tolerate.

Dignified is another adjective that describes Aunt Mary Ann. When camping at Kelly Creek on our houseboat during hunting season, she refused to use the outdoor “two-holer” erected near the creek.  Certainly she went somewhere, but it wasn’t on that outdoor toilet!

When in her 50’s, Aunt Mary Ann suffered a massive stroke, paralyzing her right side.  Determination and resilience kicked into high gear at this time.  Recovery was slow, but sure.  She exercised for years past the time that most people would have given up.

Aunt Mary Ann was a wonderful musician.  She played the piano at the Methodist Church for many years, urging me to take over when I reached the ability to play hymns for congregational singing.  After her stroke she could no longer play, and I know she missed that very much.

Reading was a favorite pastime for Aunt Mary Ann.  I was always interested in what she was reading whenever I visited her.  At one point she loved English mystery novels.  After a summer trip to upstate New York, I told her about visiting Hyde Park and Springwood, the home of the Roosevelt’s.  How interested she was, and she wanted to read my souvenir book on Eleanor Roosevelt.

Aunt Mary Ann was a brilliant educator, one with true “withitness” (eyes in the back of the head!).  When I was in the 10^th grade I’ll never forget coming up short one six week grading period without the customary book report.  Knowing what a failing grade would do to my average, I proceeded to make one up—author, title, characters and plot.  When I finished reading the report to the class, was I ever grilled!  Aunt Mary Ann wanted to know where I got the book, which facilitated another lie.  Thankfully she didn’t ask to see the book.  She gave me a “B-“ on the report and I kept that charade to myself for a long time.  It was only in recent years that I confessed to her what I did that day in the 10^th grade, thinking she was be amused by it.  Not so!  She looked sternly at me, pointing her finger and said, “Evelyn Walrath, you should be ashamed of yourself!”

I could write many more words describing Aunt Mary Ann.  It’s been said that “actions speak louder than words.”  I would like to say that one’s own words speak volumes about a person.  Over the years Aunt Mary Ann and I communicated not only in person, but in letters and emails.  Her wit and clever use of words shine brightly in a few of these communications that I will now post.

A thank-you note for a gift:

Dear Evelyn, Sammy and Ginny,

There are all sorts of blues – the sky on a summer day, the aqua of a tropic sea, the royal of our nation’s flag, the sad realization that your outgo exceeds your income – and then there’s the color of the gorgeous vase you gave me!  Thank you.  It was great for you just to think of me and especially with such a lovely thing.  I’ve been looking for the right place to display it, a place where the sun can reflect on it.  There’s a serious hitch in my search:  no sun to reflect!  Oh, well, I know it’s still up there and surely soon it’ll shine on us.

I hope these holidays have been perfect for you all and that the new year will bring all sorts of good times for you.

Won’t you come over and visit sometime?  I realize that you are all busy folks, but I do miss seeing you.

Much love,

Aunt Mary Ann

 

This letter was sent to me when I retired from teaching school in 2000.

Friend:

In this time of rapidly changing situations, a special need has arisen:  those retiring from their initial career (it was indicated in a recent conversation that perhaps you were among that group) are seeking interesting, maybe even profitable, second careers.

Always alert to the social and economic needs of our population, I have given this perceived problem thoughtful consideration.  Surely all this talent can be put to serving some of the many needs in our society.  What better think can I do than help our people create a more smoothly running civilization?  After all, we are constantly being reminded that technically we are prepared for Utopia, that it is only in our management of our assets that we have failed.

With this in mind, I thought, “If I can create a situation in which just one of these soon-to-be retirees can be involved in work mutually beneficial to her and to the public, I will have made a step in the right direction.”

Amazingly enough, it was you who gave me this first idea!  “How?” you may ask.  Let me explain:  it is quite likely that in this village and, to enlarge our vision, in surrounding areas and, not to limit the possibilities, all over this country there are people – women and men, boys and girls – possibly even pets – lying abed in the morning – let us say at 8:30.  There they are unconscious, letting the world pass them by.

So, what’s to be done?  It seems to me that you are eminently well qualified to step right in and correct this deplorable condition.  I am prepared to give references verifying your ability to operate a wake-up service.

Think of the possibilities here:  you could set up a system that would cause beside telephones to ring everywhere at whatever time you considered suitable and for a nominal fee get those lazy laggards out of those beds!

I recognize that there are drawbacks to overcome.  The possibility that some of those awakened might become belligerent, not readily accepting that this was for their own good, would have to be faced.  It might be advisable to hire bodyguards for yourself until your clients calmed down a bit.   Then, too, there is that regrettable tendency in America today to bring law suits over most trivial matters.  Perhaps it would be wise to be represented by a reputable law firm.

But, surely, one of your excellent character and intelligence can see beyond these small obstacles and are ready to take positive steps toward establishing this service to benefit your fellow citizens!  I shall be glad to offer my services as you initiate this move.

Sincerely,

Aunt Mary Ann

President, Helpful Enterprises, Inc

 

P.S.  This document shows an idle mind doing its thing!  What mind, you ask?

 

E-mail in response to some jokes I sent her  (5/17/2005):

Just finished these delightful stories…Hazel is sitting over there having her breakfast….She wants to know if I will entertain her luncheon guests (old friends from her Tampa garden club) by telling these jokes.  I think I better not.  They might decide that hazel should be removed to a more refined location! However, she, Rose and I have enjoyed them.

Enjoy this gorgeous day —–Love Aunt M A

 

A letter in response to reading the book I wrote on the history of the Walrath’s  (2/19/2008):

Occasionally I’ve been scanning your book, looking at pictures; yesterday I read it from cover to cover and really enjoyed it all.  I couldn’t pass a test with questions about which Walrath married whom or how many children each had, but at the end I realized that I understood more about what happened during their time in history than I ever had before:  about the hardships the people in that disputed section of Europe suffered as territorial wars were fought; about the courage it must have taken for them to leave their homes and make the daring and difficult journey to a strange new world; about a family’s successes in their establishment of a new life.

And strangely enough, I understand more about that time in our nation’s history.  The French and Indian War was always a dim period in my mind—of course the teachers talked about it – I read many historical novels by important men of that era – but still had no understanding or feel about how it took place.  As you wrote about the events that touched the lives of real people and their participation, I understood more clearly what happened – what does that fact tell us about learning?

I didn’t plan to write an educational treatise  –  just wanted to thank you and compliment your work.  The book was beautifully written;  to weave so many facts into a readable, enjoyable piece requires many skills –  you’re good!

It surprised me that someone had kept the letter Bill sent to his Aunt Ginny –  it was fun to read  –  showed to the 66 year-old guy –he liked that….it’s great to remember those days (and forget how difficult they may have been).

Thank you again for letting me see your book.  I also have your Eleanor Roosevelt book – you need to come by when you can.

Love to your family and you —Aunt Mary Ann

 

 

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